Monday, April 30, 2007

monday blues.

i hate work.
i hate answering phone calls.
i hate doing letter of demands.
i hate doing writ of summons.

BUT, i love my pay cheque <3

come to think of it, i've never really liked working before. well except for tangs.. and maybe that was because i was playing and slacking most of the time rather than working ahahs.

and facing the computer all day from 9 till 6, doing adminstrative work is just a waste of brain cells laa. i can feel my brain cells rotting away while i busy myself with boring, mundane, routine work.

then again, im so happy the boss is not around cos it makes slacking that much easier.. like how i've been lazing around since i came to work.

i don't know how adults can stand working. work seems to be the same every day. and you have to face people you don't like and talk to people you hate but still try to sound interested about the stuff they are talking about and laugh at things which are not even a tad funny.

this entry has been an entire waste of time. don't mind me, i'm just typing this to pass time just so with every minute i waste, i know i'm earning money for doing nothing. yays!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

retail therapy.

ah once you start, you can't stop.

i went shopping happy and bought a
fred perry bag;
black skinnies;
heels. - in less than 30 mins.

ooh. the love. and all sponsored by the mum herself.

yayness.

and my pay cheque on monday!

=)))

Monday, April 23, 2007

i'm like that lil girl who yearns for that candy to be mine.
and she never got it.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

drawing the line.

the question is how, where, when?

seems like everytime i go clubbing,
i keep outdoing myself with the nonsense i try.

and sometimes, i think it gets so out of hand..

i get scared.

i need to learn how to behave.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

crazy nights call for crazy moments.

friday was uber fun!

met kok's friends for supper after his work.
so there was bernard, james, ryan, charlie, kok and me.
took a bus down to makansutra where the boys ordered a shit load of food and i got stopped by some cleo reporter about my dressing choice and the boys were laughing when i told her to take my picture from my right side cos i think i look better from that angle

and then came the wild part,
we went to dxo!
and though the music sucked, i had so MUCH fun.

lets see why, i:
made the boys (bernard and james) kiss each other on the lips twice
made the boys (bernard and james, again) get some random girl's number
bernard got rejected cos she "got girlfriend"
and james got his first number!

bernard: you damn pervert la! why u wanna see guys kiss for?
me: nice to see what!

bernard: what the fuck! i got rejected! she's lesbian la! my first time and i got rejected! i'm super sad now. can we just go home?

then came saturday night.
ivy's birthday celebration - steamboat at bugis
hung out with them till 9 plus
then it was off to meet james at MOS!
smoove was super packed and the ratio of guys to girls was like 5 to 1. pure madness la. full body contact with sweaty people eew eew eew

char: don't you think you're moving too fast? like its only the second day..

i know, and i'm scared

Monday, April 16, 2007

my life is a damn cliche.

i feel as if i have a long hangover which i can't seem to get rid of. everything has been a whirl of events, everything feels like a big headache, everything feels like a mess and everything doesn't mean anything anymore.

when your heart aches and you feel like with every second that passes, it kills you bit by bit, you sit there and ask yourself, what in the world would make you feel this way? why would God allow this longing to reside in your brain that sends signals through your neurones to make your heart palpitate a little faster?

and if that isn't a terrible gauge of how you're feeling right now, how about making it worse by even contemplating slashing your wrists over and over just to remind yourself what life feels like so you can breathe again?

isn't that pretty tragic? how your life's happiness is based on the amount of love you get or how great your success is?

when then can i wake up from my sad mess? when will i be able to let go of everything that matters to me. my beliefs, my loves, my fantasies? i hate living each day knowing that i'm being dangled on a string called life.

why does it hurt to say goodbye, when it hurts the same to stay behind? why can't i feel loved like the rest? why must my mind think of things, that make me squirm, make me scream? why can't i learn to let go, instead of trying to wait for him to "sort things out" when we both know that that'll never happen.

i trust you, so please don't make me feel like the biggest fool.