my life is a damn cliche.

i feel as if i have a long hangover which i can't seem to get rid of. everything has been a whirl of events, everything feels like a big headache, everything feels like a mess and everything doesn't mean anything anymore.

when your heart aches and you feel like with every second that passes, it kills you bit by bit, you sit there and ask yourself, what in the world would make you feel this way? why would God allow this longing to reside in your brain that sends signals through your neurones to make your heart palpitate a little faster?

and if that isn't a terrible gauge of how you're feeling right now, how about making it worse by even contemplating slashing your wrists over and over just to remind yourself what life feels like so you can breathe again?

isn't that pretty tragic? how your life's happiness is based on the amount of love you get or how great your success is?

when then can i wake up from my sad mess? when will i be able to let go of everything that matters to me. my beliefs, my loves, my fantasies? i hate living each day knowing that i'm being dangled on a string called life.

why does it hurt to say goodbye, when it hurts the same to stay behind? why can't i feel loved like the rest? why must my mind think of things, that make me squirm, make me scream? why can't i learn to let go, instead of trying to wait for him to "sort things out" when we both know that that'll never happen.

i trust you, so please don't make me feel like the biggest fool.