Sunday, October 28, 2007

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

sometimes.

sometimes..
i wonder if going to uni was the right choice.
i lose track of the reason why i'm in uni.
for one, i can't write essays for nuts.
and i hate writing essays.
essay writing is a chore and nothing productive really comes out of it.

i think subconciously, i feel the stress of being around smart pple all the time.
and they're not just smart, they're hardworking - killer combi.
and me? i'm not smart and certainly not hardworking.

like i know there's this little voice inside my head that keeps yelling "study! study! study!" but the thing is, i'm so way behind that i dunnoe where to start, dunnoe how to begin. and so, i rather run frm reality and end up slacking even more. and i know i'm going to die when exams come.

my stats results is testimony to my less then enthusiastic attitude towards school and my level of intelligence, or lack of it. but at the end of the day, its not just about doing your best but its how do you be the best out of THE best?

cos NUS is filled with lots of smart people. really really smart people. and i think because they are so smart, they don't just rely on lecture notes, they go to the library and read EXTRA notes. and the best part is, they have to juggle teaching tuition and school and a social life.

me? i'm more obsessed with having fun. sometimes i get all the zest to start mugging everyday frm now till the final exams but i can't seem to do it. i think its my mindset. like how i think its ok to screw up my grades in nus cos i can always waste one sem and wait for smu biz next yr. i know its stupid la. but i'm stupid what.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

go back to your country brown cow.

seriously, fuck you asshole.
being older doesn't give you the authority to overwrite what i say.
the reason you're a year 3 stuck doing a year 1 course is because u suck.
so why still bother taking authority over the project?
i for one am certainly NOT impressed by your method of getting your work done.
the slides look fucking unprofessional.
if tonight's presentation is fucked up, its all your fault, you piece of shit. and i do mean it literally.
fucking hell. go back to your country and plant vegetables la.
i seriously hope u die.
and for the next project, pls dont try to take charge anymore. i'm hoping to get an A for this module and i'm not letting -think-i-know-it-all ruin my chances for me.
seriously dude, kill yourself. you're a waste of space in society.

during class.

i had stage 1 conjunctivitis so i went to sch in specs.
upon entering class,

class in unison: OH MY GOD, STEF!
fiona: stef why are u wearing specs?!
me: i got eye infection so doc say no specs
heng jing: yea man, u look so gong
me: thanks ah.
fiona: ya! i'm so not used to it. for once.. u look so guai. so different la!
me: =)

And during some silly debate about global terrorism,

reilly: i think global terrorism is easier to solve than global warming.
teacher: oh? so where is osama now?
class laughs
dorcas: most probably hidden in some cave
me: maybe he had plastic surgery!
heng jing: ya ya ya! plastic surgery to look like *points at me
me: HOII. i'm not lor!
heng jing: no wonder u skipped stats lect this morning right.. cos u need to shave your beard

i keep getting bullied! =(

anyways, i think i'm too slack. seriously slack. i've skipped like god knows how many lectures already. and i spent the whole of recess week bumming around. save for the weekends where i swear i almost died trying to churn out a 2000 word essay for soci. i'm so going to fail la!

and NOW, i have like 4 more hours before i leave for school and i have yet to start on my burma essay for class later. and i havent even prepared my speech for PF presentation which is ALSO due later. grreeat. i always love to get myself into such last minute panicky nonsense.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

all about hair.

is it wrong to be addicted to the smell of your hair treatment?
cos i'm super addicted to it la. i won't die from oversmelling my hair right?
like the chemicals won't go into my brain and start killing my brain cells, i think?

so em and i were at keith's today.
i wanted to get my hair treated (cos of the smell) and em wanted to get temporary curls (for fun, just to see how she looks like)
keith was doing his whole juggling nonsense and he decided to put me under the steamer while he went to curl em's hair.
and i think he got so engrossed with curling her hair, he forgot all about me and i swear my brain almost got fried while waiting under the steamer. i spent a good 30 to 40 mins under the thing la!

keith and i got to talking while em was camwhoring (taking pics of herself with her NEW hair)
keith: wah your friend's hair very stubborn ah, very hard to curl
stef: ya can tell.. u took so long with her hair. the other time u did it for me it took like what? 15 mins?
keith: cos your hair obedient
stef: ahas of cos! like the owner what..

em's hair is really stubborn la. her curls turned to waves in like less than an hour? poor thing. her hair needs to be tamed or learn a few obedience lessons from me =)

the freak with one big eye and one red, swollen small eye.

and that freak would be me.
my eye infection is back!
like why?! why does it have to happen during recess week?!
the one week that i can use to catch up on movies online
okay that was a lie. i still watch movies online despite me having school.
but the point is, NO INFECTION DURING RECESS WEEK.

A the bao-glar (thats right, cos he steals bao) thinks i use my eye for all the wrong reasons thats why im suffering the consequences. =( so not true pls

and aloy thinks my blog posts are funny.. hello aloy! ahahs so is my post funny enough for u? hur hur.

me: hey what u doing tmr?
yr: why?
me: oh no reason, just feel like going out
yr: ya right like tmr is the only day u feel like going out..

damn, she knows me too well ahahs

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

spoilt brat.

people always say kids are so adorable and so innocent.
those people should be shot dead.

i was in church on sunday, after god knows how long. so vanessa and i were sitting behind this eurasian girl, probably around 5 yrs old. she was kinda huge for her age la. but i thought she was quite adorable, with her big eyes and super long eyelashes.

BUT, that kid was such a spoilt brat. everytime she looked behind at us, she'll stare and then threaten to hit us. GRR.

and what really set me off was during prayer time and we all had to kneel so my hands were over her seat and she decided to lean on her backrest so my hands accidentally touched her. that brat turned around and stared staring and mumbling at me. THEN, the fat kid took her pen and thrust it backwards in an attempt to POKE MY EYE.

that got me super pissed. and i was telling vanessa the next time she tries to hit me i'm going to slap her. so came communion and both our hands were on her seat again. that spoilt brat wanted to punch me with her small fat fingers so i stared at her for the longest time and she got super scared so she went to punch vanessa's hands instead.

grrrr. i'm still so angry about it la! when did kids become so spoilt? i don't rmb being so spoilt or at least i don't rmb wanting to poke people's eyes out with my pen. that girl ought to be spanked. parents nowadays.. don't know how to teach their kids.. tsk tsk ahahs

Monday, September 24, 2007

women need a reason to have sex. men just need a place.

recess week!
been waiting for it to come eversince the start of school.
but the school's a cheat. so many deadlines to meet when school reopens.
how to have fun?!

anyhoos, got me a new hobby - late night cruising!
it all started last thursday when we (darren yr and me) decided to meet for supper

drive start: 20/9, 2340 hrs
drive end: 21/9, 0430 hrs

yishun - queens - bedok - siglap - east coast road - the original HK cafe - EAST coast park - WEST coast park - nus - kent ridge park - dempsey hill - greenwood ave - queens - yishun

honda civic;
half a tank of petrol;
5 hours of driving;
watching pple hankypankying in ecp;
driving in the dark;
ecp/bke/kje/tpe/aye/pie;
99th tail pin;
stefanie the driver;
darren's gprs.

it was alot of fun la. darren was talking nonsense the whole time and we kept going around in circles cos we were either getting lost or we couldn't decide on our next destination.

and it was super stress driving the both of them around. imagine we 3 were uncle's students and i was the 1st to take the test but the last to pass the test! both of them passed on 1st attempt. grrrr. now they both no longer P plate while i still got half a year more. darren drives all the time and yr's driving manual. super pro right?! and they are both super mean..

darren: hey yr, we're on our way to your place now. u can come down in half an hour.
yr: oh u driving ah?
darren: no la, stef's doing the cruising.
yr: oh like that ah, then i'll come down in 1 hour.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

the man i call dad.

you can take the youth out of the man but you certainly can't take the boy out of the man.

picture this -
mum: hey this traffic light wasn't here a year ago!
dad: cos you see.. many things can happen within 365 days and building a traffic light happens to fall under the many things. * gives fake, sympathetic look

vanessa: i want to drink bubble tea!
dad: okay pass me one cup of tea, i help you blow bubble.

me: i want to rebond my hair!
dad: come pass me the iron, i help you make it straight - cheap and fast.

and he's more than half a century old! tsk tsk makes you wonder who's the parent.

i love my dad =)

Friday, August 24, 2007

the new old me.

okay, thats it.
i'm ditching my whole poly emo phase and going back to my sec sch days!
no more depression. no more act punk days.
for now it will just be hyper hyper hyper! and oh yes, trigger happy! =))

quite random la i know. i was just looking at my old friendster comments and think that maybe i was more fun in sec sch.

My Testimonials - Then.

"My dear sister. The weakest among the three tans in terms of commanding respect, Stefanie is the most funniest and sociable person. She never cease to amaze anyone with her ability to get different year books for all the male-only schools. I don`t remember how I unfortunately became her brother but I must admit she's really cool. Stefanie, also a fellow vulgarian(someone that swears alot. yeah i invented that word. TM) has slowly cut down on the "Fuck" outburst, and more of the "Asswipe" outbreak. Mess around with her when she`s piss, because she can never get angry for long with anyone." - nic lim

"Oh, stefanie tan(not sun) is a very sociable and fun person to be with. With the first look, u will thought tat she is juz a small little immature girl but when u know more abt stef, u will find her amazing especially with her mental calculations. Will never ever have a boring day (also a not peaceful one) whenever stef is around. Stef has a sweet and charming voice which u definitely be drowned in her voice(especially her singing). A very good ally in WC3 who does not seem good at the game but her presence is always assuring. Overall, stef is a kind and really nice (not petty like many other girls) girl who brightens up everyones' day without fail. Memories with her will always stay in my mind and grateful to have stef as a friend. Lao tian you yan. Xie xie!" - darren

whatever happened to me?!

how did i go frm being:
so hyper to so laidback?
so mild to look so wild?
so positive to so negative?
so crazy to so mature?
so loud to so proud?
NOT intimidating to so intimidating?

i miss the old me. its time to go back in time. hello old me ;)

Sunday, August 05, 2007

of module bidding, travelling time, timetable planning.

timetable planning is a serious waste of brain cells.
been spending the past hour trying to squeeze all my mods into a 4 day week.
there's still a 5th module to take and i'm deciding between taking an unrestricted elective or a general.
but the shitty part is the mods i like are either night classes or they fall on my free day! and those mods that don't fall on my free day clash with my exam schedule. =(

what the hell la.
then mods i wanna take that dont clash, i'm not allowed to take.
stupid system.
then later if i finally find what i want which doesn't clash with my timetable, i have to worry about bidding for that module cos i might not have enough points for it. what the shit la.
stupid nus.

i really don't wanna have a 5 day school week laa.
travelling to school's a bitch can. bus-train-train-bus. kns.
i think the time spent travelling to and fro is equivalent to me attending one lecture. why the shit does nus have to be so out of the way.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

wake n bake!

i think one month ago i would never have expected my life to be so damn jam packed with activities untill my body feels so damn bloody exhausted.

ponn-ed o week like siao and it was worth the ponning cos there was..
dinner with the peeps frm sheares hall
bbq and sleepover at john's!
module bidding =(
cycling/wakeboarding/jetskiing/banana boating!

but i was quite sad i had to sacrifice freshmen bash/mass mambo/project shoot it/food hunt =((

then come next week where there's
inauguration day
rag n flag
fright night!
emily and zc's birthday
dinner with the canadian fungs
sports bash, arts bash

Thursday, July 26, 2007

can we not always compare shit with fertilisers?

just a quick recap:

the past few weeks have been mad cheonging.
what with, 2 camps back to back with only a weekend break in between.
lots of OG outings.
clubbing with an injured foot.
FRIGHT NIGHT!
and a whole load of bonding games, polar bear, i never, the traffic light game, either/or.

AND there's tomorrow, the start of O-weeek.
which is the whole rah rah nonsense all over again.
networking/module bidding/campus tour/orientation talks/matric fair

i can hardly catch a break. how i wish i was staying in hall =(

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

i'm not your bank.

and thats what the mum said to me this morning when i told her i needed more money for camp and stuff

the weekend passed pretty fast with all my lovelies for company

saturday:
yong hui's surprise 21st at pasir ris park - pictures below;

sunday:
tara day! accompanied girly to chanel so she could collect her mum's watch then we went over to vivo to find kok and thats when i realise i couldn't read maps for nuts. i swore we walked the whole of vivo trying to find starhub only to realise that it was near coffee bean and we walked past it like more than 5 times!

i swear i'm pretty damn blur and i get tricked quite easily =(
like the muscle cream incident and reading maps..

anyways, i have a thing for zara racer backs, bought my 3rd colour and i was so tempted to buy my 4th in pink but tara thinks i'm mad if i did.

monday:
went back to nyp so tara could collect her cert
then it was off to cathay for harry potter!
went to zara again and got myself 2 more spags - red and white!

i'm thinking of changing my dress style, alot less safe, alot more mix and match with a whole lot more accessories.

say cheese!


4 girls + 1 tree + 1 camera = silly pictures






Monday, July 16, 2007

Friday, July 13, 2007

girls night out!

last night saw me at bugis with the secondary school girls - em, gladys, kel and peng.
and we went to this indonesian place for nasi ayam penyat, i think? very nice! has that esteller feel to it ahas then we went to this random dessert place which was somewhere along the whole stretch of steamboat places?

let me just say that the sesame and peanut paste tasted like crap cos it was so bland and the service was bad! whats wrong with 5 girls sharing 2 bowls of desserts?!

then i brought them to my favourite building - parkview square! ah, i love that place la. peng thinks it doesn't feel like singapore. i love it cos you get to see the skyscrapers and everything just feels so ahh, so indescribable. i like (:

Sunday, July 08, 2007

i'm seriously considering going for the nus union camp. was talking to amy the other day and she went for the FASS camp. apparently, its damn fun laa.

think i should go since i'm so damn free. but going also means i have to be in rah-rah mode for 5 days. and i'm not even sure its still possible to sign up cos i just realised camp starts on the 14th. oh crap.

40 mistakes men make while having sex with women.

1. NOT KISSING FIRST
Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes her feel like you're paying by the hour and trying to get your money's worth by cutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form of foreplay.

2. BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR
Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there's a difference between being erotic and blowing as if you're trying to extinguish the candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.

3. NOT SHAVING
You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which you rake repeatedly across your partner's face and thighs. When she turns her head from side to side, it's not passion, it's avoidance.

4. SQUEEZING HER BREAST
Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when they get their hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them.

5. BITING HER NIPPLES
Why do men fasten onto a woman's nipples, then clamp down like they're trying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can't stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking your tongue across them is good. Pretending they're a doggie toy isn't.

6. TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES
Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger and thumb like you're trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus on the whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.

7. IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY
A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East and West, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you've ignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. So start paying them some attention.

8. GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED
Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangled fingers and underpants. If you're going to be that aggressive, just ask her to take the damn things off.

9. LEAVING HER A LITTLE PRESENT
Condom disposal is the man's responsibility. You wore it, you store it.

10. ATTACKING THE CLITORIS
Direct pressure is very unpleasant, so gently rotate your fingers along side of the clitoris.

11. STOPPING FOR A BREAK
Women, unlike men, don't pick up where they left off. If you stop, they plummet back to square one very fast. If you can tell she's not there, keep going at all costs, numb jaw or not.

12. UNDRESSING HER AWKWARDLY
Women hate looking stupid, but stupid she will look when naked at the waist with a sweater stuck over her head. Unwrap her like an elegant present, not a kid's toy.

13. GIVING HER A WEDGIE DURING FOREPLAY
Stroking her gently through her panties can be very sexy. Pulling the material up between her thighs and yanking it back and forth is not.

14. BEING OBSESSED WITH THE VAGINA
Although most men can find the clitoris without maps, they still believe that the vagina is where it's all at. No sooner is your hand down there than you're trying to stuff stolen banknotes up a chimney. This is okay in principle, but if you're not careful, it can hurt - so don't get carried away. It's best to pay more attention to her clitoris and the exterior of her vagina at first, then gently slip a finger inside her and see if she likes it.

15. MASSAGING TOO ROUGHLY
You're attempting to give her a sensual, relaxing massage to get her in the mood. Hands and fingertips are okay; elbows and knees are not.

16. UNDRESSING PREMATURELY
Don't force the issue by stripping before she's at least made some move toward getting your stuff off, even if it's just undoing a couple of buttons.

17. TAKING YOUR PANTS OFF FIRST
A man in socks and underpants is at his worst. Lose the socks first.

18. GOING TOO FAST
When you get to the penis-in-vagina situation, the worst thing you can do is pump away like an industrial power tool - she'll soon feel like an assembly line worker made obsolete by your technology. Build up slowly, with clean, straight, regular thrusts.

19. GOING TOO HARD
If you bash your great triangular hip bones into her thigh or stomach, the pain is equal to two weeks of horseback riding concentrated into a few seconds.

20. COMING TOO SOON
Every man's fear. With reason. If you shoot before you see the whites of her eyes, make sure you have a backup plan to ensure her pleasure too.

21. NOT COMING SOON ENOUGH
It may appear to you that humping for an hour without climaxing is the mark of a sex god, but to her it's more likely the mark of a numb vagina. At least buy some intriguing wall hangings, so she has something to hold her interest while you're playing Marathon Man.

22. ASKING IF SHE HAS COME
You really ought to be able to tell. Most women make noise. But if you really don't know, don't ask.

23. PERFORMING ORAL SEX TOO GENTLY
Don't act like a giant cat at a saucer of milk. Get your whole mouth down there, and concentrate on gently rotating or flicking your tongue on her clitoris.

24. NUDGING HER HEAD DOWN
Men persist in doing this until she's eyeball-to-penis, hoping that it will lead very swiftly to mouth-to-penis. All women hate this. It's about three steps from being dragged to a cave by their hair. If you want her to use her mouth, use yours; try talking seductively to her.

25. NOT WARNING HER BEFORE YOU CLIMAX
Sperm tastes like sea water mixed with egg white. Not everybody likes it. When she's performing oral sex, warn her before you come so she can do what's necessary.

26. MOVING AROUND DURING FELLATIO
Don't thrust. She'll do all the moving during fellatio. You just lie there. And don't grab her head.

27. TAKING ETIQUETTE ADVICE FROM PORN MOVIES
In X-rated movies, women seem to love it when men ejaculate over them. In real life, it just means more laundry to do.

28. MAKING HER RIDE ON TOP FOR AGES
Asking her to be on top is fine. Lying there grunting while she does all the hard work is not. Caress her gently, so that she doesn't feel quite so much like the captain of a schooner. And let her have a rest.

29. ATTEMPTING ANAL SEX AND PRETENDING IT WAS AN ACCIDENT
This is how men earn a reputation for not being able to follow directions. If you want to put it there, ask her first. And don't think that being drunk is an excuse.

30. TAKING PICTURES
When a man says, "Can I take a photo of you?" she'll hear the words"__to show my buddies." At least let her have custody of them.

31. NOT BEING IMAGINATIVE ENOUGH
Imagination is anything from drawing patterns on her back to pouring honey on her and licking it off. Fruit, vegetables, ice and feathers are all handy props; hot candle wax and permanent dye are a no no.

32. SLAPPING YOUR STOMACH AGAINST HERS
There is no less erotic noise. It's as sexy as a belching contest.

33. ARRANGING HER IN STUPID POSES
If she wants to do advanced yoga in bed, fine, but unless she's a Romanian gymnast, don't get too ambitious. Ask yourself if you want a sexual partner with snapped hamstrings.

34. LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

35. GIVING LOVE BITES
It is highly erotic to exert some gentle suction on the sides of the neck, if you do it carefully. No woman wants to have to wear turtlenecks and jaunty scarves for weeks on end.

36. BARKING INSTRUCTIONS
Don't shout encouragement like a coach with a megaphone. It's not a big turn-on.

37. TALKING DIRTY
It makes you sound like a lonely magazine editor calling a 1-900 line. If she likes nasty talk, she'll let you know.

38. NOT CARING WHETHER SHE COMES
You have to finish the job. Keep on trying until you get it right, and she might even do the same for you.

39. SQUASHING HER
Men generally weigh more than women, so if you lie on her a bit too heavily, she will turn blue.

40. THANKING HER
Never thank a woman for having sex with you. Your bedroom is not a soup kitchen.


Ha i laughed so much reading it. As crude and direct the statements are, they are quite true! i suppose the women would agree and maybe the men can learn from their mistakes, hopefully. hahas and its my way of apologising for the emo post before.

=))

XX.

i suppose the past 2 weeks was the most emotionally trying period for me. it was so bad i think i suffered a mild depression and it made it even worse because i didn't know who to turn to, or who i could tell because i thought i was such a freak and i was afraid the people around me will start judging me for the abnormality that i was.

i remembered crying everytime i thought about it and wondering what if the results were exactly what i imagined it to be, that i wasn't as normal or average as i'd like to be and out of the few hundred thousands in the world, i'd be the lucky one who was marked a half and half. i was afraid of being labeled "freak" and thought i might even appear on newspaper for being one of the rare few cases that lived. and i remembered praying so hard, that i'll give anything just to be average and normal like the rest. like why me?

then i was thinking why unlike other 19 year olds, i had so much shit happening in my life. i had to worry about my test results, and university and other matters. i almost felt as if i was too young to handle such issues and was even contemplating suicidal thoughts. i blamed my mum for what i am and i remembered arguing with my dad when he wanted to discuss what i wanted to do if the test results weren't what i hoped. yet, i managed to pull through and the test results were good.

thankfully. for now, everything seems to be going well and i hope it'll remain as that because it really really sucks when you wake up everyday with this heavy weight in your heart and then every night before you go to bed, that same feeling comes back again to haunt you in your dreams.

i suppose you won't understand whatever i've just written so don't bother asking cos i'm not comfortable answering.

as one chapter of our lives close, another soon begins.

so friday was graduation day and i think i shall just let the pictures do the talking. (okay, so 4 pictures don't tell that much but i'll upload more when i get them from the rest)

the turnout wasn't that great since not alot of people were willing to part with their twenty eight dollars and forty cents to rent the graduation suit. but we still made the best with the few that were there!
a little camwhoring, hanging out at mind cafe and dinner with the future nus gang after and that was how graduation day ended for me. a little pathetic though but oh well.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

stefanie worrier tan.

that should be my middle name.

i've never felt so emotionally stressed in my entire life. i need to worry about this worry about that. so many bloody issues to think and worry about is really affecting my mental health. i hate waking up everyday with my mind filled with issues and my heart feels heavy as hell.

=((

i love my carefree days.

Monday, July 02, 2007

stickwitu.

my blog posts can be so boring and meaningless.
i don't even know why i bother to update when no one even cares.
or why people even bother reading when i just type boring details about my life.

nobody ever made me felt this way.

i'm really really broke.
i haven't felt so poor for my past nineteen years.
blame me for being too lazy to go down and collect my cheque.

but despite my being broke, i still went out and spent more money anyway.. so much about financial deficit.

anyways,
i finally got to meet darling tara last wednesday after so so long. i think its been 2 months since the last time we met? aww. really missed her. and to show her how much i missed her, we celebrated by eating alot. we had crystal jade for lunch then spageddies for dinner and to finish it off, it was dessert at canele patisserie chocolaterie where i had my absolutely sinful dark chocolate cake and tara had her strawberry cake and yr had her chocolate souffle for dinner.

then thurs was tanning at spring grove. and i think my face is becoming too tan and shaun thinks i look better fair. i think too tan makes me look like a malay laaa.

hmm and fri afternoon was watching my idol's movie - yuan yang aahas. the evening saw me at cine with char, yr and alvis. had hong kong cafe for dinner then it was random walking around town and i bought this top frm esprit which said "i love dancing" and knowing how spas i can get sometimes, i was doing the "point the finger" dance for yr and pai seh-ed myself when the salesman turned behind to look at me. sighh, the embarrassing moments i get myself into.

and sat night was soaking in the hot tub plus watching the mummy

oh crap vinnie's going to kill me. suppose to meet him for jogging at 5 but its 505 already. shit

and i hope that i will do no wrong.




Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim the temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
'cause it's all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you around you
And I know that I'll be living soon

My eyes are on you they're on you
And you see that I can't stop shaking
No, I won't step back but I'll look down to hide from your eyes
'cause what I feel is so sweet and I'm scared that even my own breath
Oh could burst it if it were a bubble
And I'd better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music's the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me
So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

Saturday, June 30, 2007

we both know i'm not what you need.

sucks to be home alone on a saturday.

lonely moments call for crazy thoughts.

i feel like:
screaming;
crying;
shouting;
pulling my hair out.

i'm pissed/sad/angry/disappointed.

then again, i'm not really thinking straight.

i just feel pissed. at everything and anything.

ROAR.

Monday, June 25, 2007

lazy bones.

sorry for the lack of updates, i've just been really really lazy.
so i'm just going to do this in point form, straits times format.

PRIME:
jobless since last thursday
alot of free time - so yes, i can do meet ups for the next few weeks.
school starting in a month's time.

HOME:
father's day at sembawang country club.
mother's birthday on superstar virgo.

MONEY:
no savings.
no allowance.
waiting for pay cheque.
good investment choice - stefanie's shopping fund

LIFE:
3D2N holiday at tanah merah chalet hotel - good view, good service ahas
east coast park gai gai
dinner and movie at kampong kembangan
clubbing at clinic and zouk
dinner with char and yr

CLASSIFIED:
ms tan min min stefanie looking for a part time job, able to start now and work till end july.
pay is negotiable.

my flesh is real food, my blood real drink.

and that was the banner written in church which got my dad laughing.
and being my dad, he had to give some silly comment.

dad: read the banner, jesus is a vampire. better don't sin ah, or else jesus come and suck your blood.

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

to you,

the past three years have seen you going through many ups and downs and though i couldn't do much but just offer a listening ear, i hope you finally found what you're looking for.

so yes, at times i feel neglected cos you're too busy making time for your other girls rather than me. but i'm happy cos you're happy. i don't ever want to see you go through that phase again - the drinking, smoking, depression.

know that i'm always there for you.

be happy =)

Friday, June 01, 2007

9 layers of orgasm/green coconut dick roll/kueh ko-balls.

i hate windows vista. its stupid, i repeat STUPID.

i spent like 30 mins trying to get from windows start up to my main page.
from trying to type in my user name to being rejected cos my password is incorrect.
which is fucking impossible cos i always use the same password.

and now i can't play with my new toy and i might just need to reformat my computer without the windows vista cd. way to go, stef.

AND even if i do manage to get hold of the cd, i might risk foregoing all the extra vaio functions that were incorporated in the computer before that.

argh. im so sad. and yang being the evil that he is, has the cheek to laugh at my misfortune because he claims he'll lack a sense of humour if he doesn't laugh. =((

i want to play with my new toy!

hello new toy =))





Monday, May 28, 2007

cos we are addicted to the pain.

oh its 10 mins to 6 - knock off time!
and i'm seriously thinking of leaving early since i'm the only one in the office. but knowing how unexpected my boss can be, he could just come back at 6 to do a spot check even though he left a half hour ago.

argh. so tempting. but never mind! i shall spend my last ten mins blogging instead.

so lets backtrack two weeks ago and all i can rmb is going to sentosa and ooh-ing and aah-ing at how much the place has changed. of course the company was excellent.

thank you for folding my pants/washing my feet/helping me wear my shoes. =)

and last week was er impulse signing of spa packages at life spa and now i'm regretting cos i have to cut down on my other luxuries meaning, good food/new clothes/new shoes/new everything.

anyways, PAY TOMORROW!

oh yes and i should seriously get my ears checked.

me: roy and partners, how can i help you?
person: sophia please.
me: may i know who is this speaking?
person: fai wong.

puts the phone on hold and turns to sophia.
me: er, sophia.. i THINK there's a fai wong on the phone for you.

sophia picks up phone
sophia: hi, who's this?
person on the line speaks but i obviously can't hear cos i don't possess superhuman hearing abilities.
sophia: oh.. frank wong.

and i sink in my chair in utter embarrassment at my excellent hearing ability.

oh look at the time, its SIX OH ONE.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

my tragic love story.

i thought my day was going to suck when the boss asked me to draft my own writ.

1st, i don't really know what's a writ. i'm thinking its something the solicitors acting for the Plaintiff, sends to the court with an account of the case meaning who are the plaintiffs and the defendants, their statement of claim (what the plaintiff believed happened) and where exactly were the defendant(s) negligent at the material time of accident.

2nd, i have never done my own writ. he usually writes, and i just type - so no brains needed.

3rd, before i can violently object, he goes on to say, you know how to draft a writ right? since you've typed my writs before. dumb fuck, typing and drafting your own writ are two completely different matters. knowing how to type a writ is not equivalent to drafting your own. ass.

then he goes on to pile me up with loads of letters to mail out/fax and file. and now i'm freaking out cos i sort of blocked him out when he was rattling away and now i don't know what documents to enclose to the letters. fuck.

then came the good news, the boss called after his meeting in court.
boss: i'm not coming back today. if there's anyone who's coming to to the office, tell them to come back again cos i have a very bad flu.

YES AHHHH. =)

i'm going to slack as much as i want. call me if you need to be entertained!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

when it all falls apart.

i hate answering the phone at work.

i'm not sure if there's something wrong with the phone or if its just me but i can't seem to catch what the people on the line are saying.

imagine this -

me: roy and partners, how can i help you?
stranger: may i speak to roy please?
me: oh alright, may i know who's this calling?
stranger: siberia.
me: i'm sorry, sai-bay-ria?
stranger: shah bay rea.
* i have no idea how to pronounce so i just decide to transfer the line to the boss.
me: roy, there's a i think his name is siberia on the line for you.
roy: siberia? *laughs

then my colleague came and so i asked her
me: sophia, there was this guy that called just now and i think i heard him say his name was siberia but roy was laughing when i told him
sophia: *laughs. his name is shah-be-er.
me: how do u spell that?!
sophia: shabir.
me: oh great, i feel so dumb.

AND today, lady calls to speak to sophia.
lady: hi, may i speak to sophia please?
me: sophia's on the line at the moment. may i say who is this calling?
lady: i'm tharu from mother ong partnerships.
me: i'm sorry, how do you spell it?
lady: my name is spelt as tharu.
me: oh okay. i'll get her to call you back.

*hangs up phone
me: sophia! there's a tharu from I THINK this firm called mata something?
sophia: *slightly irritated what mata something?
me: can i don't say? i think i'll sound stupid. there's this tharu person calling from er mother ong partnerships?

*sophia pauses.
sophia: maddavan partnerships?
me: OH YES.
sophia: what did you hear it was again?
me: er mother ong?
*sophia laughs ALOT

okay, i just keep embarrassing myself at work. sigh

Sunday, May 13, 2007

and all i wish i could do now is not give a fucking damn.

shiaat.

work tomorrow =(

okay, people have commented that my previous blogskin was gruesome/freaky/requires a strong heart to be able to read my posts. but i like it! did i mention i have a little fetish for black and blood?

SO, to my avid readers, feast your eyes! ta da! sexy models for your gawking pleasure. see, i'm so nice.. thank me prease. ahahas

don't hate me cos i'm warped.

Friday, May 11, 2007

would you miss me when i'm gone?

i FINALLY changed my blogskin.
got so sick of the old one so i made myself two!

its 1140 now and guess where i am?
AT HOME.

i was so caught up with changing my blogskin last night, i lost track of time and ended up sleeping at 3. woke up this morning with a nasty sorethroat and sore eye that i decided to skip work! 60 ka ching down the drain! =((

Thursday, May 10, 2007

being short - the fashion disadvantages.

you know how lately all female tops are getting longer and longer, so long that they can pass off as dresses?

i hate it. and it makes it even worse when you're short cos the supposed long top becomes even longer than usual and it really seems as if you're wearing a dress but the thing is you're not.

there are many times when i get so tempted to just buy a super long top and pass it off as a dress but i dare not because i'm afraid people on the streets will think i'm dumb or something.

yes, some may argue that thats the reason leggings were made to go with these tops. but see, i don't really fancy leggings. i don't think i can pull them off very well.

ah. dilemna, dilemna.

and oh yes, capris! otherwise known as your three quarters. i can't wear them cos short people do not have long legs. can you imagine the body leg ratio? if short people were to have long legs, wouldn't that make their body really short?

so because i have a pretty normal body leg proportion, i think. it means my legs can't possibly be that long for my height. and thats why i sworn off capris cos i always end up looking weird and overgrown since my legs are not long enough for the capris to be worn as 3/4 and neither is it short enough for my capris to pass off as pants.

it ain't easy being short.

=(

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

6 weird things about me.

with the recent fad to list 6 weird things about yourself, i've decided to put my slacking time to good use and crack my brains to think of them. so lets see,

1. when i go to foreign places meaning places i hardly go to, i don't like to touch anything there. i don't like to open the door with my hands or go to the toilet or touch the railings on the staircase. and why not? okay, brace yourselves for my answer people.. because i don't wanna leave my fingerprints/cells there. they are too precious to be left behind.. and i'll miss them.

note: do not roll your eyes.

2. i like keeping long nails but the sides tend to chip. so what do i do? i clip off the sides and the nails look like this -- _ from the side. kel and em used to call them staircase nails and they'd used to say, "stef! cut it offf! its disgusting!" .. but i DON'T care. i like can already =) ahahas

3. i hate pooping in public toilets, well except for country clubs, hotels and restaurants with nice toilets. my tummy can hurt like hell and i'll still control because i can't stand them. the poly girls use to complain about accompanying me to grassroots club just to shit when the school toilet is just 10m away.

4. sometimes i wake up early in the morning for some unknown reason and i realise the mum has left my door slightly ajar.. for ventilation cos she offs the aircon when she wakes up and that would be like 6 am, i think? AND, if i wake up and see my door is left open for that tiny bit.. i'll TRY not to care about it rarely ever works unless im really tired. so what happens to the times when im not that tired? i try to go back to sleep but i can't. cos i feel as if something's staring at me from the small hole and i get uneasy. i'd usually assume that something is chucky (yes, the doll) or some ghost.

5. oh yes, speaking about ghosts, after watching too many horror movies, my mind tends to wander.. WHEN I BATHE. so when that happens, i freak out like hell when i have to close my eyes - cos soap tends to get in and its only natural that you HAVE TO close your eyes. and i get scared whenever i close my eyes. i start thinking there's some ghost staring at me, just waiting to kill me.

6. oh and lastly, i hate throwing the receipts away into public bins. i'll wait till i get home and then throw them away altogether. and WHY? cos i'm afraid i might miss them if i throw them away into the public bin.

so there, my weird, funny moments. i bet most of you would be like whaaat? thats damn nonsense laa stef.

ya like i'm sure you guys don't have your weird habits. i want kel and em to do this too! so maybe then you guys won't think im so weird afterall ahahas

Thursday, May 03, 2007

work is so much fun when the boss is not around.

its 215 now and im finishing work in 30 minutes!
yaaaaay!

the colleague says i can leave early since i look so bored and i finish all my work already.
AND, i can come in after 11 tomorrow!

yes ahhh. more sleep time!

meeting the best friend later for some retail therapy. lets see, i need more clothes, more clothes and more clothes! oh shoes and make up. damnnn.

and the mum is bringing me to the dermatologist ( i have no idea how u spell it) so i can get my face to feel as smooth as a baby's buttocks!

and don't try telling me my face is fine and that i shouldn't waste hundreds of dollars on skin products cos seriously, my face is terrible now, there's like pimples, whiteheads and blackheads. its disgusting.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

pillow fights and tickling fits.

wednesday already! weee.
and i was 25 minutes late for work. double wee.

was suppose to open three new files but all i've been doing since i came in for work this morning was to chat online, surf the net and to blog.

oh yes, lets talk about monday.
peng was feeling all emo and blue so i met her after work and i drove her to sembawang park to have sex chit chat hahas

then after picking jia up and dropping peng off, i drove home and *cue melodramatic music..
i buang my dad's car while reversing in to the parking lot.
how embarrassing is that.
the right rear mirror is gone and so is the right door.
argh, i was SO close to home!
but amazingly the parents reaction wasn't as huge as i expected. there was no scolding, no yelling but alot of i told you so, i told you to be more careful, you're wasting my money, no time to send the car for repair, vanessa has to go school herself.. yada yada, you get the picture.

or maybe lucky jia was there thats why they didn't blow up like how i thought they would. but i don't think i should ever drive jia anymore. ha cos the 1st time, we nearly got into an accident. and now the 2nd time, i rammed in to the pillar and the right mirror crashed like titanic hitting the iceberg. imagine the 3rd time.. i think we would either die or land in the hospital ahhas

i can't believe i'm still in the mood to joke about it. i should be sad =(

anyways, billy bombers later! my oreo milkshake - ah, the love.

m-ly











click picture!

the girlfriend otherwise known as emily, has found her latest hobby - handmaking accessories. so do drop by her online shop and help sustain her little hobby by buying her precious creations hahaas

and oh yes, if you notice, emily has named one of her earrings under yours truly, stefanie! please do buy that pair of earrings cos its so black and chic, its so me. ahahas

its not what you do, its who you are.

the way you flirt doesn't turn me on, not a single bit.

the way you talk is a turn off too. you think you sound so hot with the things you say but i shudder in cold disgust when i hear you speak.

if you think your lame jokes amuse me, i am not.
and i am certainly not entertained by your humour, or lack of it.

maybe its not your fault i feel this way.
maybe its because i don't give a shit about you, at all.
and if i can't even be bothered to listen to what you say, there's no point trying so hard.

so whatever you are trying to do, stop it.
its not going to work and its only making me dislike you more.
you reek of desperation.
and it disgusts me.

Monday, April 30, 2007

monday blues.

i hate work.
i hate answering phone calls.
i hate doing letter of demands.
i hate doing writ of summons.

BUT, i love my pay cheque <3

come to think of it, i've never really liked working before. well except for tangs.. and maybe that was because i was playing and slacking most of the time rather than working ahahs.

and facing the computer all day from 9 till 6, doing adminstrative work is just a waste of brain cells laa. i can feel my brain cells rotting away while i busy myself with boring, mundane, routine work.

then again, im so happy the boss is not around cos it makes slacking that much easier.. like how i've been lazing around since i came to work.

i don't know how adults can stand working. work seems to be the same every day. and you have to face people you don't like and talk to people you hate but still try to sound interested about the stuff they are talking about and laugh at things which are not even a tad funny.

this entry has been an entire waste of time. don't mind me, i'm just typing this to pass time just so with every minute i waste, i know i'm earning money for doing nothing. yays!

Sunday, April 29, 2007

retail therapy.

ah once you start, you can't stop.

i went shopping happy and bought a
fred perry bag;
black skinnies;
heels. - in less than 30 mins.

ooh. the love. and all sponsored by the mum herself.

yayness.

and my pay cheque on monday!

=)))

Monday, April 23, 2007

i'm like that lil girl who yearns for that candy to be mine.
and she never got it.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

drawing the line.

the question is how, where, when?

seems like everytime i go clubbing,
i keep outdoing myself with the nonsense i try.

and sometimes, i think it gets so out of hand..

i get scared.

i need to learn how to behave.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

crazy nights call for crazy moments.

friday was uber fun!

met kok's friends for supper after his work.
so there was bernard, james, ryan, charlie, kok and me.
took a bus down to makansutra where the boys ordered a shit load of food and i got stopped by some cleo reporter about my dressing choice and the boys were laughing when i told her to take my picture from my right side cos i think i look better from that angle

and then came the wild part,
we went to dxo!
and though the music sucked, i had so MUCH fun.

lets see why, i:
made the boys (bernard and james) kiss each other on the lips twice
made the boys (bernard and james, again) get some random girl's number
bernard got rejected cos she "got girlfriend"
and james got his first number!

bernard: you damn pervert la! why u wanna see guys kiss for?
me: nice to see what!

bernard: what the fuck! i got rejected! she's lesbian la! my first time and i got rejected! i'm super sad now. can we just go home?

then came saturday night.
ivy's birthday celebration - steamboat at bugis
hung out with them till 9 plus
then it was off to meet james at MOS!
smoove was super packed and the ratio of guys to girls was like 5 to 1. pure madness la. full body contact with sweaty people eew eew eew

char: don't you think you're moving too fast? like its only the second day..

i know, and i'm scared

Monday, April 16, 2007

my life is a damn cliche.

i feel as if i have a long hangover which i can't seem to get rid of. everything has been a whirl of events, everything feels like a big headache, everything feels like a mess and everything doesn't mean anything anymore.

when your heart aches and you feel like with every second that passes, it kills you bit by bit, you sit there and ask yourself, what in the world would make you feel this way? why would God allow this longing to reside in your brain that sends signals through your neurones to make your heart palpitate a little faster?

and if that isn't a terrible gauge of how you're feeling right now, how about making it worse by even contemplating slashing your wrists over and over just to remind yourself what life feels like so you can breathe again?

isn't that pretty tragic? how your life's happiness is based on the amount of love you get or how great your success is?

when then can i wake up from my sad mess? when will i be able to let go of everything that matters to me. my beliefs, my loves, my fantasies? i hate living each day knowing that i'm being dangled on a string called life.

why does it hurt to say goodbye, when it hurts the same to stay behind? why can't i feel loved like the rest? why must my mind think of things, that make me squirm, make me scream? why can't i learn to let go, instead of trying to wait for him to "sort things out" when we both know that that'll never happen.

i trust you, so please don't make me feel like the biggest fool.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

cars, reservoirs and dirty banglas.

you're such a gem.

what'd i do without you?

=)

XOXO

Sunday, March 25, 2007

o m e

what are you thinking?

there's only so much i can take before i walk out the door.

so let me go if you can't catch me when i fall.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

too close for comfort.

i've been bumming and lazing at home for the past week except on thursday when i met kok for lunch then went over to his place to watch ghost game with darren.

after the show, we met andrew with the boys at sun plaza macs to rot and chat. after that, the boys dropped me home and they went for their soccer.

but being boys, they never get tired and we went out again at eleven plus for supper only this time it was me/kok/darren/adib/zhaoqing/zixian/alan. was supposed to drive but it'd be a waste of petrol considering we had 2 cars already.

ended up at changi village since the boys wanted to look at trannies and darren wanted to pinch some tranny ass. but apparently all the trannies were not around that day (darren thinks its because its thursday - scariest night of the week, so all the trannies went to hide) and we only saw a handful.

obviously the boys couldn't get enough and so we went to geylang to see some REAL girls. HA. the boys were freaking out when they got approached. kok and zixian especially, "oh my god, she tickled me! i feel so violated" tsk tsk. then it was tao huay and super long you tiao and they were debating if the you tiao was as long as 3 dicks.

FINALLY, after all their sightseeing, we left around 3 plus and i got grounded the next morning cos i told the dad i'd be back home by 2 but i was only home at 4. oh wells.

super boring post. i think i just wasted your time ahahas

Sunday, March 18, 2007

trust.

its something you earn, but once its lost, i doubt there's a chance to earn it back.

when i tell you something, i expect you to keep it and leave it as it is.
and not breach that trust by going around and gossiping to people about what i've told you and then put me in a bad light.

i trusted you.
and you broke that trust.

don't expect me to share anything with you again.

i'm utterly disappointed.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

oh, how i miss those secondary school boys.

how a supposed msn chat to discuss where to go for supper and who to drive became a total rubbish conversation which dragged on for 2 hours before we actually left for supper is beyond me.

but oh my lord, i had so much fun laughing. i laughed so hard, my tummy ached so bad and tears were rolling out of my eyes. my mum thought i was mad.

hahaas their lame jokes and endless racist comments never fail to amuse me.

one of the many topics:
darren: eh so how? where to go for supper?
kok: aroon we go jalan kayu la then you can give us discount
andrew: don't go jalan kayu la, go mr prata.. i got 10% discount
me: heh? how come?
andrew: cos i used to work there during fyp
me: hahahas do what? flip prata?
kok: wash plates?
andrew: no la.. help people order prata
me: ha wahh u any job also take hor
kok: then got steal the prata recipe not?
andrew: no la, all indian how to read
me: hahahas
kok: wasted. else u can be the first chinese to sell prata at the coffeeshop.. can ask aroon to join you
aroon: what? i open my shop next to his arh
andrew: eh aroon! i skin u alive then u know.. although it will take more than a day..

and the retarded conversation drags on to about the mystery of the secret hole, andrew's ex lovers - camel and bulldog ahahas

then finally, it was supper at 925 with kok/darren/andrew at 12, after that andrew wanted to go to chong pang nasi lemak to get some for his mum. ha and the boys, being their usual pervertic selves were staring at this girl from inside the car while waiting for andrew to get his mum's supper ha and when the girl's guy friends started to stare back, darren went to lock his door hahahs incase they get beaten up ahahas so manly of them.

there's never a dull second with those boys la. i'm going to miss them when they enter NS.
=(

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

that dreaded driving test is finally over.

they say three is the lucky number and its true!
i finally passed my tp. with 12 points! 0 for circuit!
amazing improvement considering i got 42 for my first and it was at 825am, bus lanes! heavy traffic!
yay yay yays!
hello highways and narrow carparks!

oh and i got hit on by some guy at the driving center and again when coming out from the bus. it must be my driver's license la. they sense the alluring presence of it ahahahs

i'm too happy la.
class 3 license today, new phone yesterday.

=)))

and no, my dad didn't strike 4d. ahahs

Sunday, March 11, 2007

love in the first degree.

so this week has been rather eventful.

wednesday saw me at the zoo with jia and we spent more than 5 hours:
looking at red monkey buttocks,
getting a close up view of elephant pooping,
waiting for the cockroach to finish laying her eggs,
debating whether to run/stay still when face to face with a snake,
arapaima feeding (jia fed, i filmed),
admiring animals' hair colour, monkeys in particular, which according to jia is testimony to why God is such a good hairdresser.
and lastly, getting a huge scratch on the leg while trying to run away from the free ranging monkeys which was my own fault actually cos i was the one who suggested climbing up the treehouse.

then it was 300 and our $2.40 dinner which consisted of tomato twisties/cheezels/icemountain/m&m peanut. not forgetting our early supper at 7 plus! which was 6 different kinds of kueh from bengawan solo cos jia loves them so much. afterwards it was home sweet home and i knocked out at 9 hahas. so there, my 12 hours of jia time - super exhausting yet super fun.

ha if you are reading this, and i know you will, don't forget east coast park/jalan kayu/escape and whichever place which three second girl has forgot about hahas =)

thursday was facial with yr and then it was off to ulu boon lay to meet my two lovelies for GIRL TIME! - dinner and cheesecake at quad/camwhoring with em's mac/after dinner movie: someone like you/bedtime. i had so much fun! maybe because its been too long since the 3 of us just hung out and yup, the stayover was absolutely lovely. thank you honeys!

friday got me a laptop and tv at the suntec IT fair.

saturday was family dinner with the relatives at this coffeeshop around elias mall then meatballs at ikea. and i feel so bad that i'm not sticking to my diet especially when i stuff-ed myself with royce chocolates yesterday afternoon =(

last night's dinner conversation -
mandy: sorry, i'm late! i went to watch 300.
me: oh, the show not bad right! a bit bloody though.
michelle: 300 what?
melvyn: 300 men.
michelle: huh?
melvyn: its about 300 men running for the buffet.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

twenty and jobless.

so school is finally over.
after all that whining and wishing and waiting, it is finally over and done with.
suddenly feels as if i got alot of time on my hands, too much time in fact.

and because i have too much time to waste, i decide to spend all my time on thinking then i get scared. so here's a breakdown of my thoughts and maybe you can tell me what to do next:

school.
do i want to go to australia if i can't enter smu/ntu/nus?
or do i want to stay in singapore and study in SIM because i'm too dependent on everyone else at home?

that dreaded driving test.
im hoping i'd finally pass because i'm so sick of failing but passing feels so impossible when my driving sucks like hell, i think.

a job.
oh yes, i need one badly. other than the fact that the money can help satisfy my materialistic needs and how pretty it'd look on my resume under experience, i hate working. and i don't intend on getting a job anytime soon. at least not untill april, i hope.

doctor's appointment.
ah, the fear. to go or not to go. guess i've been putting it on hold for way too long. maybe it's because i'm afraid to face the truth. maybe i'm scared i'm different from the rest. maybe i'm just too chicken ahahs.

friends.
the buddies have been too lovely, can't complain. except that i need to stop being too picky and selective about the people i want to hang out with. but it's not really my fault right? like who wants to hang out with people you can't clique with.

family.
nothing much except that i need to be more patient towards the parents and help out more with the housework.

love.
ha, i actually like to keep this private, away from the rest of the world (internet).

although i do have to agree with what kel said, like how emily and i were closer to the guys but she was the one who got a boyfriend first. guess i could kinda take credit for that huh. ahahs

i suppose it doesn't always mean that being closer to guys means you are closer to getting a boyfriend. maybe it just means i hang out better with guys rather than girls. which is quite true actually! i think. or maybe i just can't be bothered to hang out with girls and chat about accessories.

other stuff.
i'm not sure if any of you guys felt it but the fucking tremor in singapore just happened again! no thanks to the earthquake in sumatra. super freaky can. at first i thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me because of that expired ( i think) cookie i ate. then i saw my curtains shaking and all and it freaked me out cos i thought i was going to die alone in the house. ahahas kinda dumb actually.

pray the tremors don't happen again tomorrow cos i'm going to the zoo! ooh, can hardly wait!
=)

Saturday, February 24, 2007

depression season.

seems like every small comment or joke gets to me very easily and i start to break down and cry.

it must be the lack of sugar.
sugar makes me happy.
but i've made a vow to abstain from all my sugar indulgences till i reach my ideal weight.
no more chocolates/cakes/brownies/coke for the next six months at least.
which also means unhappy and crybaby stef =(

oh, the things i do for vanity. lets hope its worth it.

i can do it.

sorry for the moodswing sayang.

Friday, February 16, 2007

black long sleeves and chocolates.

loved everything and every minute.

=)

Thursday, February 15, 2007

stoked.

school is out!
no more projects, no more reports!
i actually survived 6 semesters in nyp, shocking.

all along, i've been waiting for this day to come but now that its finally here, the feeling's a little bittersweet.

sweet because i no longer have to worry about rushing project deadlines, doing last minute work, sacrificing sleep for reports. no more executive summarys, introduction, conclusion.. its all finally over.

bitter and sad because i'm going to miss everyone who were an important part of my life in polytechnic, my clique especially and the rest of the class.
awww. feels sad to know that we'll all be parting very soon and the next time we meet up might be very long in the future.

ha there actually isn't anything much to be happy about.. i still got 2 major exams to clear and i have to spend the next one month plus worrying if i got any Cs and if i can even enter uni.. which reminds me.. i haven't send in my uni application yet! and closing date is on the 21st.

die die die






Thursday, February 01, 2007

first ever live football match - singapore vs thailand at national stadium

and boy, did i have fun!

t'was a well spent seven dollars. ha i dont think i had that much fun when watching a movie in the theatre cos in the theatre you don't get to see that many thai casualties in a game - all the headbanging, kicking, tripping, fake injuries and what not.

in the theatre, you dont get to see the audience going high and crazy. you don't see people doing the kallang wave or yelling butol/lanjiao/go home/we want goal/referee kayu/referee suck teh teh gopal - supposed name of referee cos he's indian.

ha 55,000 people in one stadium and mad throwing of newspaper shreds and what not.. it was indeed an eye opener. paying seven dollars to get one helluva experience is super worth it i'd say.

though most of the time i had absolutely no idea what the hell i was clapping for, i had so much fun, i wanna go again. a pity they are tearing down the stadium so soon - i love the view of the skyscrapers.

=)

me: i have a thing for a skyscrapers.
kel: i have a thing for kampungs.

tsk tsk.

oh yes, singapore won! woohoo!

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

why should i care?

they say softspots are worse than boyfriends. you can hate a boyfriend for something he does, but a softspot never does anything wrong because in the first place you're in no position to care so much and when you flare up you just realise how stupid you are and how you are making a big deal out of something that's out of your control and really none of your business.

also, since there's such a fine line between a softspot and a boyfriend, you tend to mix the two up. you have to constantly remind yourself not to become too emotionally attached or clingy cause he needs his own space.

but when you see him flirting with some girl, you get jealous and insecure and then you realise there's nothing you can do about it. because let's just face it, he was never yours in the first place.

so you can either try not to care about it and continue being stupid or move on.

Monday, January 22, 2007

superficial people.

so yes, after 3 weeks, i've finally decided to update.

kel's calling me sickly girl since i skipped school today - fever, bodyache, nauseau and diarhorrea. am very very very tempted to go get a jab later cos i can't afford to fall sick any longer. i desperately need to stay healthy for school. but im scared of the needle! i'm not just sickly, i'm chickeny too ahahas

ah yes, the past 3 weeks..

lets see,
my very mundane routine - school, home, going out.

school's a drag.
the endless reports, presentations, tests, then more reports, presentations and tests.
and the thing that pisses me off the most is that other schools graduate before CNY but we graduate only march second. fucking unfair can.

some of the more memorable outings since 1st jan would have to be -
sam's mini bday treat at spize
good food at simpang

mos tertiary fling
free entry, free drinks, navy boys
oh yes, being young has its perks

so there, my mini nonsense update.

and! i just realised something.. my new favourite word for now would have to be NONSENSE.

stef is full of nonsense and she loves to use the word nonsense on nonsensical people with no sense.

dont mind me, im typing nonsense.

Monday, January 01, 2007

see you on the other side.

HAPPY 2006 2007!

idio-tic/asshole/motherfucker ;)
its 2007. and that can only mean one thing, im turning 20 this year.
damn, i feel old.
and i dont think i've done or seen enough over my past twenty years.
so maybe i wasted too many of my 7,000 plus plus days idling away.

the countdown to 2007 at mount faber was good! cos the fireworks were fa fa fabulous and the company was great =)

& after all the mad shopping/hanging out/speed driving/midnight macdonalds sessions/late nights, i think im falling sick. and its not just cough/runnynose. its the whole package deal - headache/fever/bodyache/giddiness/cough/runnynose/sorethroat

super wrong timing to fall sick cos i wasted the entire term break without doing any schoolwork. and i have two tests on wed, both im not prepared for. two reports on fri, both i've not started on.

oh yes people, i am screwed BIG time.

but i had so much fun this term break! aww, i wish the holidays was longer.
nevermind, 3 more months to my well deserved long break.
oh wee

edit;
i never make new year resolutions or any resolutions for that matter cos i never stick to them anyways. so whats your new year resolution for 2007? and will u stick to them?