twenty and jobless.

so school is finally over.
after all that whining and wishing and waiting, it is finally over and done with.
suddenly feels as if i got alot of time on my hands, too much time in fact.

and because i have too much time to waste, i decide to spend all my time on thinking then i get scared. so here's a breakdown of my thoughts and maybe you can tell me what to do next:

school.
do i want to go to australia if i can't enter smu/ntu/nus?
or do i want to stay in singapore and study in SIM because i'm too dependent on everyone else at home?

that dreaded driving test.
im hoping i'd finally pass because i'm so sick of failing but passing feels so impossible when my driving sucks like hell, i think.

a job.
oh yes, i need one badly. other than the fact that the money can help satisfy my materialistic needs and how pretty it'd look on my resume under experience, i hate working. and i don't intend on getting a job anytime soon. at least not untill april, i hope.

doctor's appointment.
ah, the fear. to go or not to go. guess i've been putting it on hold for way too long. maybe it's because i'm afraid to face the truth. maybe i'm scared i'm different from the rest. maybe i'm just too chicken ahahs.

friends.
the buddies have been too lovely, can't complain. except that i need to stop being too picky and selective about the people i want to hang out with. but it's not really my fault right? like who wants to hang out with people you can't clique with.

family.
nothing much except that i need to be more patient towards the parents and help out more with the housework.

love.
ha, i actually like to keep this private, away from the rest of the world (internet).

although i do have to agree with what kel said, like how emily and i were closer to the guys but she was the one who got a boyfriend first. guess i could kinda take credit for that huh. ahahs

i suppose it doesn't always mean that being closer to guys means you are closer to getting a boyfriend. maybe it just means i hang out better with guys rather than girls. which is quite true actually! i think. or maybe i just can't be bothered to hang out with girls and chat about accessories.

other stuff.
i'm not sure if any of you guys felt it but the fucking tremor in singapore just happened again! no thanks to the earthquake in sumatra. super freaky can. at first i thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me because of that expired ( i think) cookie i ate. then i saw my curtains shaking and all and it freaked me out cos i thought i was going to die alone in the house. ahahas kinda dumb actually.

pray the tremors don't happen again tomorrow cos i'm going to the zoo! ooh, can hardly wait!
=)