exhausted. back frm uncle ronald's berthday dinner. missed ami. cos we had to cut the berthday cake. went out with darren today to look for a job. hahas the 1st one looked haunted and deserted so we decided to scram instead of going in to check. the 2nd 1 at aljunied was erms..not really our kinda job and most of the pple applying were old. went to OG. they didnt want part timers. hahas darren went to the temple to pray. got 9 joss sticks altogether. talk about kiasu. hahas immediately aft praying, god must have answered his prayers cos voila jia qi that girl whom andrew intro-ed thru msn called darren. asked him out on feb the 14. wow. like isnt that valentine's day. think she's crushing on darren. ho ho. ayhs. not in the mood to type.

depressed. yup. the word i was looking for. collected the pictures today. oh my god i look awful. so awful i wanted to cry. i look fat. fat fat fat. it was sooo bad. darren had to choose the 8r for me. urkk. aft seeing all these pictures, it has gone me thinking.. im not just fat, im ugly and short. its the truth. i cant deny. aft taking the pills and putting on ever more weight, i sort of developed a severe inferiority complex and its really bad. i think i look ugly. and there's never a day when i can look into the mirror and tell myself, hey u look nice today. cos lets just face it. ive neither the looks nor the figure. and hey, i might just be one of the ugliest looking people in singapore. just that my friends arnd me are too nice to tell me that. call it self realisation or what. but thats how i feel. fat, ugly and short. yeah. thats me.

and whats the greatest irony about the whole thing. its that i got the bestest buds arnd me who are like the hottest, prettiest and admired most hanging with me. ha ha. i pale away when i stand next to them. looks and figure im no where near. its sad when u know that u are ugly. and i know how it feels. cos im hell of an ugly bitch. tho` i might try to lie to myself that im okay but the fact is im NOT. im the most atrocious, ugliest looking creature that ever walked the planet. how the hell did i lie to myself that i would look nice in the pictures. i was wrong. i look like shit like crap like fuck. what's wrong with me. fuck.